the way I cry - or how i became a deranged person

29 May, 2026

I've always been a cryer (a crier? someone who easily cries), like, in life, watching movies and stuff, sometimes just by seeing a friend cry, but you know, only when things were sad (that might seem obvious but it's not, really). things were sad, i'd cry and that's it, nothing special about it. but there were two specific events in my life that completely changed how i cry.

the first one was in 2017, when i experienced the biggest sadness of my life with the passing of my first dog. i cried so much and for so long that I started getting dizzy. and ever since then, every time i cry a lot, i get dizzy. it's so weird, it never went away, and it's only when i cry (a lot).

the second one was in 2019, I think, when I first watched my niece on stage. she had started theatre that year and we went to watch her first performance. I don't know what happened to me that day, but the moment I saw her there I started to cry. and i had to make a superhuman effort not to do it hysterically, it was really nerve-wrecking. since then, this crying has evolved. at first, it was every time my niece was on stage. then, one day, there was another kid on stage who I've never met before. she was adorable and visibly very nervous. watching that kid overcome that and deliver her lines made me wildly emotional and there I was again, trying not cry like the crazy lady that I obviously am.

from that, things went out of control. yes, i still cry when i'm sad, but now i cry when i'm happy, i cry sad or happy tears for friends and for strangers, i cry when i see something horrible, and also when i see something amazing, i cry watching sad movies and i even cry watching making of not-sad movies. i cry watching people trying, succeeding or failing. yesterday i cried watching a one-minute short video of a woman making a bookshelf out of cardboard.

and that's the story of how I became a deranged human being. someone who gets dizzy for crying over anything and everything.

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